I have been a Nanny for 11 years. I've had five long-term (1 year or longer) positions in that time, and a spattering of seasonal short-term positions. I've taken care of twins. I've taken care of special needs children. I've taken care of singletons. I've taken care of full houses of 4 children. I've worked for Stay-at-home-Moms-who-just-need-a-helping-hand. I've worked for parents who both work stressful jobs outside of the home and need a '3rd parental figure' to be home with the kids. I've potty trained, sleep trained, play dated, house cleaned, meal planned, and school pick up & drop off'd. I am, by all definitions, a childcare professional.
I take my job very seriously and absolutely love it. There is nothing like hearing a little one say your name for the very first time ("Mara!"). Or hearing a little one pick up on your funny expressions and start using them themselves ("Holy moly!"). There's nothing like a parent looking you in the eye and saying with absolute sincerity, "We could not do this without you."
Nannying is enormously challenging & complex, but it's also enormously gratifying & rewarding. I cannot imagine myself doing & enjoying anything else.
I take my job very seriously and absolutely love it. There is nothing like hearing a little one say your name for the very first time ("Mara!"). Or hearing a little one pick up on your funny expressions and start using them themselves ("Holy moly!"). There's nothing like a parent looking you in the eye and saying with absolute sincerity, "We could not do this without you."
Nannying is enormously challenging & complex, but it's also enormously gratifying & rewarding. I cannot imagine myself doing & enjoying anything else.
| I am good at my job, guys. Who am I kidding-- I'm GREAT at my job. I mean it with conviction that I truly believe a family would be hard pressed to find a nanny more skilled, more committed, more experienced, more reliable, and more capable than I. I do not care if that makes me sound egotistical-I have been doing this for over a decade and I am good at it, dammit. But I don't think I have what it takes to be a parent. I don't think my husband & I have what it takes to be parents. I can show up 5 days a week, and care-give the hell out of other people's kids but I think I would fall crushingly short if I were to have a child myself. Many people tell me, "After all this nannying, you would be the best mother!" But, I am not sure that that is the case. Because as much as I love my job, I also really love going home at the end of the day. |  |
The truth is, I am a perfectionist and a clean freak. All of my dishes & cutlery must match, and must be organized in the cupboard just so. My bed must be made a certain way every day. My drawers all have dividers & organizers in them to keep the contents tidy & in their places. Everything must always be in it's place! I'm bossy. I'm demanding. I'm high maintenance. And, oh god, I am so impossibly grouchy when I'm tired. I'm like a whole other person when I am tired.
And my husband. Well. I love him dearly, but he is needy. His love language is definitely physical touch. I'm not kidding- when we did the Love Languages quiz together, he got 98% Physical Touch. He feels slighted if I give my dogs affection and don't give him some too. If I am being honest, I think he would struggle hugely if he had to share my time, energy, & affections with a child. I don't think that I would balance things well, and I think my darling husband would get the short end of the stick (as many darling husbands do), and I think he would resent me & the baby for it. I do not mean this as criticism-- I'm simply calling a spade, a spade. It's a non-refutable aspect of my husband's personality that he needs my time, attention, & affections. And a lot of it.
You may be thinking, "Yeah, but when you have kids your priorities change." I don't doubt that for a second.
And my husband. Well. I love him dearly, but he is needy. His love language is definitely physical touch. I'm not kidding- when we did the Love Languages quiz together, he got 98% Physical Touch. He feels slighted if I give my dogs affection and don't give him some too. If I am being honest, I think he would struggle hugely if he had to share my time, energy, & affections with a child. I don't think that I would balance things well, and I think my darling husband would get the short end of the stick (as many darling husbands do), and I think he would resent me & the baby for it. I do not mean this as criticism-- I'm simply calling a spade, a spade. It's a non-refutable aspect of my husband's personality that he needs my time, attention, & affections. And a lot of it.
You may be thinking, "Yeah, but when you have kids your priorities change." I don't doubt that for a second.
 | Here's the thing, I don't want us to change. I like us exactly as we are. I know that a woman who likes herself is a bit of a foreign concept these days, so I might blow your minds when I tell you this:: I am 31 years old, and I really, truly LIKE myself. I think that I am really great. I also I like my husband & think that he is pretty darn great, too. I'm okay with being a perfectionist. I like having shelves of beautiful, delicate things. I like spoiling myself. I take pride in my spotless bathroom and my gleaming counter tops. I am not bothered by the fact that I never sit down, and instead busy myself with constant puttering & tidying. I am also not bothered by my "needy" husband, and enjoy that he desires me and seeks out my affections. He treats me like a goddess and I don't ever, ever want that to change. |
The fact of the matter is that kids change everything. Kids take your world, shake it up, and turn it upside down. Kids change your relationships, kids change your priorities, your home, your financial situation, your bodies, your outlook, your opinions, your sleep habits, and the way you travel. For better or for worse- they change it all.
I just don't know if we cut out for all that change.
I love being a nanny and wouldn't trade it for the world. But I suspect that the same nanny experience that has equipped me with the skills to be a "great parent" has also equipped me with the idea that parenting may not be for us. Wouldn't the world be a better place if more people realized these truths about themselves before rushing into having children?
I just don't know if we cut out for all that change.
I love being a nanny and wouldn't trade it for the world. But I suspect that the same nanny experience that has equipped me with the skills to be a "great parent" has also equipped me with the idea that parenting may not be for us. Wouldn't the world be a better place if more people realized these truths about themselves before rushing into having children?
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